Build Connections by Focusing on Others
Discover how focusing on others can unlock trust, influence, and stronger connections.
“You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” — Dale Carnegie
Your ability to build connections and cultivate lasting relationships can be a make-or-break factor in your success. Whether you're pitching a new product, onboarding clients, or leading a team, focusing on others is your secret weapon.
Consider Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks. When Schultz visited Milan in the 1980s, he noticed how Italian coffee shops weren’t just about coffee—they were about connection and conversation. Inspired by this, he didn’t simply return home to launch a chain of coffee shops. He spent time understanding what his customers truly wanted: a welcoming environment that felt personal, where the barista knew their name and order. By focusing on this human connection, Schultz helped transform Starbucks from a small regional business into a global brand.
The result? Starbucks became synonymous with more than coffee—it became known for its personalized experience and strong community feel. Customers weren’t just buying lattes; they were buying a moment of connection.
When we focus on others, we build trust and credibility. Think of any great conversation you’ve had. Chances are, the other person asked you questions, remembered details, and made you feel valued. That’s the same feeling you want your team, clients, and partners to have in every interaction.
However, this doesn’t mean faking interest or using robotic replies. People can sense insincerity from a mile away. Genuine interest requires active listening and engagement. Try this next time you're in a meeting or networking situation: instead of sharing your pitch first, ask questions like, "What are you most excited about right now?" or "What challenges are you facing?"
When you do this consistently, you'll notice something magical—people start opening up, seeking your input, and remembering you. Your relationships become more collaborative, and you’re no longer just a name in someone’s inbox; you’re someone they trust.
Action Step: In your next conversation, commit to listening more than you speak. Make it a goal to learn three new things about the other person and reflect on how you can genuinely help them—whether it’s a resource, an introduction, or thoughtful feedback.
By making your conversations about others, you’ll naturally position yourself as someone worth knowing. And that’s where lasting influence begins.
If you want to learn more about mastering these principles to strengthen both personal and professional relationships, be sure to check out our book of the week: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.